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’ ‘What is that, sir?’ ‘Professors have told us how classes are being disrupted because women are not paying attention, and the PBX can’t handle the calls to your phone, it appears to be stuck at your number.’ ‘Sir, I’m sorry. This isn’t my fault. I received an inheritance and …’ ‘So the women want your attention? Hoping you’ll share?’ ‘It’s more than that. The ‘will’ states a large sum is to be distributed, conditional upon my marital status.’ I whispered. ‘Well, pick one, Lad. But we can’t have this. It’s very disruptive. You’ll have to get this straightened out soon, or the administration will be forced to step in. Do I make myself clear?’ He did, and I left. Unfortunately, things got worse. The University Magazine got wind of the story and placed their piece on Page 2. I quit answering my phone and took to wearing disguises. The next week, one of the Frat houses, as a joke, bought a full page Ad. It was a Marriage application, inviting single women to apply. One lucky girl would. "Who are you? Who the fuck am I?" Eileen. Who are you? Aren't you my mother?" Roger ask shocked by thesound of his voice."I'm your father, at least I was until now. My god how could this hashappened. This is impossible. This can't be true!" Freda wrung herhands, her breath rapid and her large pendulous boobs heaved alarmingly."This can't be happening," She screamed."I can't be you!" Roger cried out even more upset by Freda's behavior.Freda was awakened by the screams. Something drastic must havehappened! She sat up, hit her head against the ceiling, jumped out ofthe bed and almost fell."What's going on?" Todd ask, turning over to face his identical twinbrother."Why am I in bed with you?" Ted ask and shut up as he realized how wronghis voice sounded."Ted, what's going on?" Todd repeated, now fully awake."Why are you calling me Ted?" Because you are my brother," Todd replied.Ted looked down at his torso, he was wearing pajamas instead of anightgown. Alarmed he moved a hand.
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